Sunday, May 12, 2013

Nejamaana Viswaroopam


Nejamaana Viswaroopam

A comical satire based on recent events

Cast:


Kamal – Movie star and Oscar aspirant.
Rani – Ex movie star and political bigwig.
TeeAar– Movie-star (self acclaimed).
Rajni – Stylish Super Star.
Mani Ratnam– Director and expert dark room movie maker.
Deputy – Always ready for “vambu”.
Dancers troupe -

Setting -
26th January 2013. India’s 63’s republic day.(Aravatthi moonraam kooDi arasu naal).
Outside Movie Theater Devi Paradise. Poster of Viswaroopam, show times.

p.s: All Tracks have emoting, either dance or related movements. All tracks will not be more than 1 minute. All tracks will be played in the background only.

Expected run time 20 mins.

Introduction

In the wake of the ban on the movie Viswaroopam and the flop show over DTH of the movie, several things transpired. The movie was okayed, banned, okayed banned and finally okayed giving important producers back their money and homes! Many people said many things. Tamil Nadu’s pongal overflowed beyond Thai maasam. However, there were many things that were not said too! Like what you are going to see shortly.

Announcement - Introducing ex-cine star and political bigwig … Rani... and deputy .

!!!PLAY TRACK1 HERE!!!

Intro Rani and Deputy (0.01 upto 1:05) Dancers fade … enter Rani and deputy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIHtdNhfJrs
Rani sits on chair.

Deputy - Rani, Moonu mani aayidtu, indha Kamal yeppovum late’a dhaan varuvaan. Yenna’nu ketta “shooting delay”nu oru excuse vere. Ungal time’ku madhippe illama irukkaan? Adho... Rani.... vanduTaan.

Announcement - Introducing movie star and Oscar aspirant … Kamal(with movie box,very ambitious, happy)

!!!PLAY TRACK2 HERE!!!
Track2 – Intro Kamal. (0.30 to 1.30) Dancers fade.... Enter Kamal

Rani - (coughs to attract attention)
Kamal– (looks at Rani. Realises didn’t see her first.)Um…. Um….

Rani - (whispers to Deputy. Then raise ruler.)
Deputy - (walks across with “BAN”.) taDai, taDai, taDai..... (looks at Kamal)... No more Viswaroopam. Take it easy ma! (turns around to remove show times)
Kamal – (runs around the deputy... Pleads with Rani... Then Pleads with Audience to tell something.)
Amma - (continues to nod.)

!!!PLAY TRACK3 HERE!!!

Makkal – Kamal vaazhgha(2). Naam padam paarthey theeruvom(2). Kamal sevai cinema thirayukku thevai(2)!

Kamal – (singing in dejection)Unnay nenechen... thalai adichen.... roobame, viswaroopame. Yennai nenechen... naanum sirichen …. roobame, viswaroobame.

Rani – Mr. Kamal Haasan, ongalukku 60 years(aravadhu vayasu) “touch” aahardhu. Yen kitta vandhu, Viswaroopam padam release aahardhunnu oru vaarthai sonnela? Phone ring’a vidu, at least oru thadavai yaavadhu yen veetu bell’a ring pannela?

Kamal – (in choking voice)Othukkaren Rani othukkaren. Ungalai inform pannale. Ippo oru uricha kozhi maadhiri court’um-secretariat’um’nu oda vendi varum.

Rani - DTH la edukarel nu sonnel. Oru vatti Rani TV’a contact pannela?  Yenna dhillu ungalukku? Indha maadhiri childish behaviour naan yen life la paathadhe ille. I DON’T LIKE THIS ONE BIT.

Announcement - Introducing self-acclaimed movie star TeeAaR

!!!PLAY TRACK4 HERE!!!

Intro TeeAar(3:51 to 4:50) Dancers fade... Enter TeeAar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDQeJAGZGQs

Deputy - Idhukku “dislike” button yengeyaavadhu irukka? Yengey Yengey?

TeeAar– (Walks towards Kamal) Dai Kamal’u… koncham Chill’u. Aatathula all rounder’a irunthaa podhathu, aalu kooda round’a irukkanum. (points to himself)

Rani - … (Coughs to attract attention, looks angrily at TeeAar.)

TeeAar – (looks at Rani. Realises didn’t see her first.)Um…. Um…. Naan...Yenna solla vandhen’na...Dai Kamal’u, singathey konja mudiyaadhu, Raniyai minja mudiyaadhu, Idhu kooda theriyaama nee Viswaroopam padam yedukka pakariya?

Kamal – Yen sogha kadhaiya tirippi tirppi “grinder” la maavu arekkaraa maaadhiri yen arekkare? (Goes close to TR) Seri, Yen facebook page la “like” potiya?

TeeAar– – “Face” aavadhu “book” aavadhu. Yen face’a paatha makkal oru book’e ezhudhalaam. Yenai melai ezhudhina book’a padichaa makkalukku yen face theriyum. (Looks at the audience). Koncham perisa cover yedunga. daaDi “cover page”la fit aahanum ille? Aaamaam....Vere yeaarum varaliya innum? Naan thaan first aa?

Announcement - Introducing Stylish Super Star Rajni

!!!PLAY TRACK5 HERE!!!

Intro Rajni(0.01 to 1.21) Dancers fade... enter Rajni
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAE1Ysx-VGU

Kamal – Rajni, nee yeppo vandhey?

TeeAar - Yeppadi vadhey?

Rajni - Yellorukkum anbulla Vanakkam. "Naan eppa varuven, eppadi varuvennu yarukkum theriyadhu, aana varavendiya neratthil correct-aga varuven."

Deputy - He He..., Periya Time Machine vechundu irukkaar ivaru Mr. “Endhiran”.

Kamal – Aamaaam…(Goes close to Rajni) . Seri Rajini, Nee yennoda fb page’la “like” adichiya?

Rajni –(turns to Kamal) Ille Kamal, (dejected) Aiswarya-Dhanush yen phone la data plan configure pannale. Yen kettaa … “Enthiran film shooting la ungal brainukkuukku romba data upload pannittaanga. Adhu podhum”... appidinnu sollaraa. Veetukku poyi pannaren. Koncham poruthoko seriya?

Rani - (coughs to attract attention. upset Rajni hasn’t noticed her.)

Rajni – (looks at Rani. Realises didn’t see her first.)Um…. Um….

!!!PLAY TRACK6 HERE!!!

Rajni Rani patch up(4.00 to 4.30) Rajni and Rani do sign language, end up with smiles, happy!

Rajni - (smiles at Rani) Aamaaam… Rani …, paatha perambu vecha school teacher maadhiri theridhey! Paavam Kamal oru nalla kadhaiya produce pannirukkaru. Adha makkalukku paakkaa mudiyaama pannaringle, idhu nyaayama? (Style) Avaru vazhi … rombave … thani vazhi’nnu … unglaukku theriyum, ille?

Kamal – Idhenna kovil mani aa, telephone mani aa? What Mani? Where Mani?

Announcement - Introducing director of Nayagan and Thalapathi, Mani Ratnam

!!!PLAY TRACK7 HERE!!!

Intro Mani(0.01 to 0.18) (enter Mani, looks at his phone, smiles at Rajni, goes towards Kamal)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaUJMWRd1R4

Deputy - Ivarumaaa Inge? Theather la current poyidthaa’nu, ille ivar padam odinde irukka’nnu yaarukkume theriyaadhu.

Mani - Mr. Nayagan, I mean Mr. Kamal, neeye direct panna aarambichiyaa? Veetla oru director medhaavi irukkaar’nu(points to himself) marandhutiya?

Rani - (coughs to attract attention. upset Mani hasn’t noticed her.)

Mani – (Looks at Rani. Realises didn’t see her first.)Um….. Um……(goes towards Rani)

Rani – Stop it. Quiet’aa irungo yellarum. Naan inge irukkardhu yaarume kanduka maatengarel?

Deputy - Yenna GALATTAA idhellaam?

TeeAar–  Aaama, Rani, romba panba… panivaa... mariyaadhaiya.. oru kelvi kekaren. … ungal thalaila … yenna … kombu vaLandhiccha?

Rani - (looks angrily at TeeAar.)

Mani– Oohoom. Ippothikki retta yelai maadhiri yedo theriyudhu. Adhu yeppo komba maara poghudho.

Rani - (looks angrily at Mani.)

Rajni – Yenna mani, phone’a paathu sirinchindey vandhey?
Mani –Onnum ille... sinna family gasa gasa....Chinnappo odi-pidichu vilayattule Kamal’u Suhasiniya thokku adichadha Suhasini manasula vecchukittu, …(Looks at Kamal and Rani, laughs) Ippo Kamalu vera odi-pidichu valayattu aadaraar’nnu … oru smiley pottu « text » pannirukka.

Kamal – Oho…. Appidi varaala. Koncham Alwarpet pakkam vaango. Namma kudumba kacheri appram vechukalaam. (goes close to Mani). Seri, yen fb page’la neenga rendu perum … “like”inela?

Mani - Ille idho login ayinde irukken. Inge wifi connection romba iDikkidhu. Annaaalum Bombay maadhiri Wifi Chennai’la varumaa?

TeeAar– – (Looks at Kamal) Yennaiya-idhu facebook, twitter’nnunDu?

Kamal - (Dejected) Social networking use panni yen padatha promotion panninen. Yevalovo “like” vandhudhu. Yevalovo prospective heroines ippo yenna twitter’la follow pannaraanga. I still have an acting career left. (Gets up angrily) Indha BAN moolama padathukku loss naalai yen maadhiri oru talented artiste ku kovam varudhu paaru....

Rajni,TeeAar - Rush to cool him.

Rani – (Looks at Rajni, TeeAar and Kamal). Paarungo....Vayasaana kaalathula Krishna-raama’nu sollama, indha young heroines oda dance aadara vaaliba ucchaaham ungal yellarukkum thevaiya? Look at me. Yena maadhiri cine field lendhu repectable’a retirement yeduthu (looks at Rajni) politics’la smooth’a transition panna mudiyalaiyaa?

Deputy - Rani, ungalukku Secretariat lendhu Call. Immediate’a vara sollaraanga.

Rani - Yennavaan?

Deputy - Padathukku semma positive reviews aaan. Foreign’la … special’a Montreal la padam bayangara hit aaan. Mukhiyama Quebec lendhu Oscar award nomination vandhaalum varalaamaa. Approm yedo hardware kaara, film city workers pracchinai aan. Final’a yedho TTK Salai’la problem aan.

Rani - Cha...Indha official velai vere. Idho... neenga inge irungo … naan varen.
(Exit Rani and Deputy)

Kamal –(Upset) Tamil Nattula padam release ...idho Rani moolama... flop aayitchu. Adutha padathukku advertising kaasu ille. Facebook, twitter moolama “Viswaroopam 2”va promote pannalaamnu producers yosikara. Mudhal padathu post’a “like” panna rasigarghalukku sila freebies kadekkum. Adhukku dhaan “like” adi “like” adi’nu sollitu irukken.

Rajni – Yenna maadhiri freebies kannaa? Alwaavaa laddaa?

Kamal – For Example... oru free kathak lesson ….(Shows a kathak move)

TeeAar – (shows another kathak pose) Yepdi aapicer? Unakku bharatnatyam thaane theriyum?

Kamal - Aaan... naa padathula samecha tandoori chicken, adhu inni verilam yaaarum sapadle, freezer la vechurikken., … (Shows the chicken dance)

Mani– (holding an imaginary shot angle)Too much light. Cut Cut...

Kamal – Aaaann.. ….special aa foreign rasigarghalukku, padam la use panna faraday shield, I mean microwave oven. (Presses buttons on a microwave)

Rajni – Cha cha cha.... Yenna Kamal, sariyaana low-budget candidate aa irukkiye? Yedho “like” panna “Viswaroopam-2”kku oru free ticketo kuduppiyo ille oru free DTH subscription kuduppiyo yosichen. Adha vittu ... kathak dance aan ... tandoori chicken aan ... microwave oven aan.

Mani - Montreal rasigarghalukku at least cinema Decarie pakkathula Pizza Hut’lendhu ticketukku free pizza kudupiyyo nenachen.

Kamal - taps his own head in error.

Rajni - Kamal, nammo yevalo padam othumaiya nadichirukkom. Naan sollardha kel... nalaikki naan imaya malaikku … Lalaji’a paarka ….poyindu irukken. Neeyum vaa... manasukku... coolingaaa…tripti’a… irukkum.

Kamal – Namma cinema lendhu sanyaasam vangika time vandacha? Namma pesaame pasanga cinemala yedhaavana guest role pannalaamo? Makkale, Dhanush Shruthi oda “Triple3” shooting dates yeppo?

!!!PLAY TRACK8 HERE!!!

Makkal – Mudhalla Viswaroopam Padathai release pannungal(2) Ban yedungal(2) Yengalukku padam pakkanum(2).

TeeAar–  (Looks at audience) Yennayaa idhu, Kummidipoondi lendhu Kanniyakumari verilam thiruttu vcd 5-10kku vandhirukkum. Ippo theater pogha avasiyam irukkuma?

Kamal – Ayyo... kalla vcd kooda vandhudta? ….Romba wrong pannitene.... Naan yenna pannauven... Naan yengey pohuven. Naan nallavanaa.... kettavan aaa?(keeps head down)

Mani - Bah... “Nayagan” padathuku aprom ivanoda overacting ippo thaan paakaren. Thaanga mudiyalai saamy....Cut... Cut... Cut... pack up!

Rajni – Iru Mani...Paar Thambi Kamal’u…. Phone adicha ringu… Rani adicha sangu.
Vaangha, namma yellaam adutha action plan yenney’nu ...“room” pottu... yosikkalaam.

(each one puts hand on head thinking)

Rajni – Idea!Idha paaru Kamal’u. Viswaroopam2, adhu dhaan onnoda sequel … adhoda direction’a idho indha Manikku kudu. Yenna irundhaalum ivanukku semma luck’u paa. Yenna, koncham iruttaa … kothu kari size’la dialogues oda…muzhu padatha yeduthu adjust panniduvaan.

Mani - Aamaam… aprom… won overacting yellaaam yen kitta sellaadhu, seriya?

TeeAar–  Mani, yenakku onnu sollu. Nee Marina beach’la kuduthanum vechurikkiya? Muthalla Alaipaazhudhey yeduthey , approm Kadal yeduthey , aduthadhu yenna? “Tsunami” aa? Actors’ku dialogues yeppo oru decent size’a kuduppey?

Mani – TeeAar, rumba periya dialogue sollitte. Ivalo periya line’a yen padathula solli mudikarthu kullaye… interval vandhudam. Aprom yenakku theater vaasal’liyo marina karailiyo … sundal vikka vendi varum. Adhu seri…, won adutha padam yenna?

Rani - Enters.
Deputy - (Whispers in Rani’s ear.)

TeeAar–  Aaah ...idea! “Paaru Da Kadal’a Podu Da Kadalaiya”. Marina’la … andha kadal karaiyil... oru sundal vikkira payyan… avanoda dabba kulla irukkira andha oru sundal… indha rendu jeevanai melai oru melodious , action-filled blockbuster. Padathula 7 fight, 6 song. Simbu dhaan hero. Heroine thedinDu irukken… Kamal, wona follow ayindu prospective heroines “twitty-twitty” varaangle... adhaan facebook’la twitter’la … any leads?

Rani– (Stares at the group, upset) Yenna “matter” ange?

Kamal - mattter aa?
Rajni - matter aa?
TeeAar matter aa?
Mani - matter aa?

Deputy - (whispers to Rani.points to Mani)

Kamal – Rani... This is too much! Romba naal kaprom veetila thaatha lendhu kutti pasanga okandhu serndhu pakaraa maadhiri padam yedudthurken.... adha neenga verey BAN pannitel. Believe me, padathula onnum “MATTER”ey ille.

Rani– Mr. Mani, adutha padam Rani Film Citykku contract kudukaama yen Film City workers oda sentiment hurt pannarel? IAM ASKING WHY? (Nods her head in disapproval)

Kamal – Apdi podu! (Signs thumbs up to Amma! Signs thumbs down to Mani)

Mani – (afraid his project will be banned next) Ayyo... Rani, sagiye.... sneghitiye.... adutha padam contract Rani Film City la dhaan Rani...Iruttule rumba irunthuten, ippo thaan veliccham`la vandirukken, mannithu vidungo.

Rani– (Nods head.)

Deputy - (whispers to Rani. points to TeeAar)

Mani - Bombay padathulla ...Nee siricha deevana, kai kodutha masthaanaa’nu… paatta.. ungala manasula vecchu thaan direct panninen. Neenga dhaan yen “Naayagi”, yen “Thala pathini”.

Rani– (stares at TeeAaR,nods her head in disapproval) Mr TeeAar, kathey illama, mozhi illama African beats`nu paatellaam katti tamil makkale romba kazhuthaRukkareLe? ... blade maadhiri.

Deputy - Rani... Tamil Nattula irukkara hardware store’kaaara yellaam TeeAar oda padam release aaharappo, kathi... blade... aruvaal... rambam..., even kathirikkol  business down aaghardhu’nnu protest pannaaraanga.

Rani - Periya “law and order” problem aayindu irukku won padangal. Yenna seyyalaaam?

Kamal – Super! Gumbaloda Govinda. Rani roopam … apuroopam!

TR – (Looks at audience)...Thannerrai killa mudiyuma, Raniyai vella mudiyuma.... Dear makkals, ungalukku Tamil Nadula padam pakanuma vendama?

Rajni – Pohara pokku paatha Chiranjeevi, Mammooty, Shivarajkumar padam dhaan Tamil Nattula odumo? yen iniya Makkale... neenga yenna sollardhu?

!!!PLAY TRACK9 HERE!!!

MakkalRani vaazhgha(2). CrPC 144 vaazhgha(2). Tamil Nadu Cinema Act vaazhgha(2).

Kamal - Ellarum katchi maaritaala. Seri naanum kootatha sendhukkaren. Rani?

Amma – (Pleased at public acceptance. Nods in affirmation. Shows ‘V’ sign.)

Deputy – Rani otthunTaanga. The ban is over! (puts back show times, holds phone on ear)

Kamal, TR, Mani – (Iin big relief.)

Rajni – Kamal, idhu dhaan asal viswaroopam. Rani sonna ...Summa adurumm ille… (Looks at audience, then Rani) ….HOWIZIT?

All- Sooooppppppppeer!

Rani –I LIKE IT! (Shows a thumbs up sign)

Kamal - By the way, Rani, secretariat’la Film City workers porattam approm Hardware store’kaara porattam, indha maadhiri constructive velai nadakardhe ... TTK Salai’la kuppai edukka lorry … vandhu oru vaaram aavudhu, atha patthi … any action plans?... agenda’la unda?

Deputy - Rani ….Rani ..., Shahrukh Khan oda pirantha naal innikki. Avan kittendhu innum phone call varaliye?

Amma – Hmm.. Appidiya...  Avanoda “Chennai Express” hindi padam release date yeppo?

All – READY…. STEADY…PO

!!!PLAY TRACK10 HERE!!!

Kamal and Rani dance(0.37 to 1.39) (Finish dance at center of the stage. artists join center stage)

!!!PLAY TRACK11 HERE!!!

Viswaroopam theme song.(0.42 to 1.12) Dancers finish and join the artists centre stage.

 ©Mukund Rajamony: This script is free to be used, modified and shared. The writer takes no responsibility of any damages owing to the screening of the play as is or with any modifications. Please preserve the copyright statement when reusing.


2 comments:

The kaleidoscoper said...

Super comedy and witty dialogues! Want to see the live performance.

The dialogues give away that the script writer is an Iyer :D

Is Feb 26th being mentioned as Republic day deliberate?

Mukund Iyer R. said...

Nice typo catch. True the Iyer is visible. Video will come soon.